Dear guys that use ‘friendzone’ to describe manipulative/coercive relationships they have with women who knowingly and intentionally use their affection for excessive favors etc,
First of all, you are not as bad as the guys who use it to mean “I like her and treated her like a human being and she isn’t rewarding me with love/sex!” But your word choice is still just weird.
When people treat you like that, they are not being your friend. Willfull manipulation is not friendly behavior; a real friend would not do that to you. If you are being coerced, you are not “friendzoned”. You’re just straight up being manipulated. When you use the word friendzone, you lump yourself in with the people I mentioned earlier and that is guaranteed to make a lot of people assume you have massive entitlement problems and don’t understand the basics of romantic interactions. Don’t do that to yourself. Just say what is actually happening, like: “They repeatedly tell me they might reconsider dating me if I buy them expensive jewelry but it’s becoming obvious that they have 0 interest in me and I wish they would stop using my feelings for them to extract money from me.” Or “they threaten to publicly recite the love letter I wrote them unless I drive them around every weekend and massage their feet” And now you don’t look like the asshole! Was that so hard?
Your word choice isn’t just weird, it’s problematic. :( Don’t use misogynistic words to describe your troubles with heterosexuality lest you perpetuate societal hatred of women.
I don’t want to be a feminist anymore. Like a five-year-old, I want to close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears, stomp my feet on the floor and scream “No! No, you cannot make me, I won’t, leave me alone!” I am, simply put, too tired. So very, very tired.
I am tired of fighting with my friends. I am tired of arguing that someone groping and slapping my butt isn’t “what I have to expect”, just because I’m at a bar, and the one attacking my butt has a drink in the other hand. I am tired of hearing “boys will be boys” and “when you’re dressed like that …” and “that’s just what guys do”. I am tired of trying to drown those sentiments in loud, repetitive no’s, screamed over and over again, till my throat is sore and my voice weak – just to hear them repeated, as soon as exhaustion threatens to silence me.
I am tired of being afraid. I am tired of seeing someone writing something offensive, sexist, racist, ageist, ableist, somewhere online. I am tired of seeing those writings getting likes and lol’s, and SO TRUE’s. I am tired of being consumed by confusion and anger, typing, typing, typing and typing a seemingly endless response, including research, links and statistics, and then hesitate clicking “submit”. I am tired of knowing that I hesitate because I am afraid of the flood of responses that will come. I am tired of knowing that I will be bombarded with lighten up’s, stop whining’s and get a sense of humor’s for so long, that I will start to wonder if I am indeed wound up too tight, a nagger and humorless. I am tired of the fact that I’m afraid of being called a cunt, even though I don’t find genitalia insulting or demeaning.— I don’t want to be a feminist anymore. (via gingerrqueer)
Don McPherson, former NFL quarterback, feminist and educator (via albinwonderland)
I know it’s been said before, but it’s rather telling about our culture that telling a man he’s never been laid or won’t get laid is a go-to insult employed by all types of people.
It’s just stupid on so many levels to men and women: Ignores gay men. Tells men their ultimate goal is sex. Insults any woman or man that might be in a relationship with them. Ignores asexuals.
Ah. See. This is why I said I don’t like “virgin” as an insult. I could go into more detail…but…depression laziness GO. *tumbles away*