saying feminism is unnecessary because you don’t feel oppressed is like saying fire extinguishers are unnecessary because your house isn’t on fire

while your neighbor’s is



In case you forgot

Bet they don’t tell you about that in your textbooks…

(via jlembcke1997)


I’m so sick of seeing people say “feminism is about *~*equality*~*!!!”

The end goal of feminism is equality, but feminism itself is about liberation: from white supremacy, from homophobia, from sexism, from ableism and all other forms of oppressive thought and behavior.

Without first dismantling the systems that keep us oppressed, equality is impossible.

(via fuckyeahmyvagina)

(Trigger warning: rape, victim blaming) Anon asked


Question: I was in an abusive relationship that I never really told anyone about because he and another friend had me convinced that no one would believe me. Then I got involved with a guy who was worse and I felt like I couldn’t leave him because no one else wanted me. After he left me for someone else he continued to rape me. I got a repuation for casual sex because I felt like I couldn’t say no. And guys started forcing me. But my friends think I’m just a slut. My friends tell me that if I just laid there and cried then I wasn’t raped. Because I never gave them a reason to think they couldn’t have it. But there were times I tried to physically push them off of me. I would scream. But they would keep doing there thing. I tried going to counseling, but she told me I never gave the guys a reason to think I didn’t want sex. It’s been really a struggle. I argue with some of my closest friends who say I am playing the blame game.
Answer: I’m so sorry to hear that your support network is treating you so poorly. I’m also sorry to hear about all of the trauma that you’ve experienced.
I want to start by first acknowledging that one very common response to rape and sexual assault is having sex with numerous people and/or having diminished boundaries or an inability to know what are your boundaries and how to articulate them. For some, it feels like a means of trying to get back power that was taken away from you. For others, there’s a numbness and depression in the aftermath of an assault and/or abusive relationship that may make you less invested in what happens to your body. Whatever the reason, it’s really important that you know that any sexual activity that happened that you didn’t want to have happening was not your fault. If you are in a situation where you don’t feel like you can say no, then you haven’t consented.
Now for your “friends.” Honestly, they are behaving in an extraordinarily shitty way. As friends it is their job to love and support you and they are doing exactly the opposite of that. And furthermore what kind of bullshit is “if you just laid there an cried then it wasn’t rape.” Um, HELLO. The only crying that should be happening in sex is crying from sheer bliss and physical pleasure. And it should be pretty fucking easy for someone to tell if you’re crying for that reason or because you’re upset. Anyone who continues to have sex with someone who is visibly upset is a rapist and a terrible human being. So I’m really not sure why your “friends” think that you crying isn’t a CLEAR indication of your non-consent. I know that things with friends can be complicated and I’m only seeing a snippet here, but I would encourage you to think strongly about your friends and the kinds of behavior you deserve from the people in your life who are supposed to love and support you. 
As for your therapist, she sounds terrible too. If you are crying, screaming, and trying to push someone off of you, that’s a pretty clear indication that you aren’t into what’s going on. Hell, even if you aren’t doing any of those things, it’s pretty easy to tell if someone is actively and enthusiastically consenting to what’s going on sexually or if they are just tolerating it. I’m mad that your therapist invalidated your feelings and didn’t help you process all of the trauma you experienced. I hope that you look for a different, less shitty therapist who actually knows what they are talking about and who is interested in supporting you, not telling you ridiculous lies about consent.
Anon, I’m so sorry that everyone around you is failing you so terribly. I really hope that you are able to find some supportive people who believe that the trauma you’ve experienced is valid (it is!) and who want to support you in healing.


People have a knack of really over simplifying feminism like “feminism: the radical notion that women are people” or “feminism is literally just believing in equality” like… no its not its so much more complex than that ask any dingus if they think women and men should be equal they’ll probably say yeah but their actions and thoughts probably majorly contradict that so quit acting like anyones a feminist if they vaguely believe women are ok humans

(via fuckyeahmyvagina)

If a guy starts saying what you are doing is ‘reverse sexist’, he is obviously threatened by what you are doing. He’s threatened because he thinks there are only two ways to be: powerful or powerless. He assumes you asserting you rights is a way to take power away from him. He assumes you wanna ‘switch places’ with him. He knows you get treated like shit and he knows he gets advantages from your imposed inferiority. He’s fearing REVENGE, girlfriend. His fear of ‘reverse sexism’ is basically an admission on his part that he knows you get treated like shit and does not want to switch places with you. — from Bikini Kill’s “Girl Power” zine (via earlyfrost)

(via fuckyeahmyvagina)

[TW: rape] I have gotten one question repeatedly from young men. These are guys who liked the book, but they are honestly confused. They ask me why Melinda was so upset about being raped.
The first dozen times I heard this, I was horrified. But I heard it over and over again. I realized that many young men are not being taught the impact that sexual assault has on a woman. They are inundated by sexual imagery in the media, and often come to the (incorrect) conclusion that having sex is not a big deal. This, no doubt, is why the number of sexual assaults is so high.

Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak, on the question “Have any readers ever asked questions that shocked you?”

Read that again. Read it again, and again, and again. Over and over guys have asked her why Melinda was so upset about being raped. This is a girl who went to a party with friends. She was thirteen. She had a drink, because everyone else was. And a senior held her down and raped her while she was too drunk to get away.

And guys don’t understand why she was upset.

Read that again and then come back and tell me again why I should just shut up and take a joke when a comedian blows off rape as a big deal, or women’s bodies are casually treated as commodities in media. Remind me why I shouldn’t care about the very real harm that society’s treatment of women and sexual assault does.

(via witchlingfumbles)

Men’s indifference is horrifying and makes me feel so hopeless so often. :(

(via blametherapistneverthevictim)

An abusive man may embellish his childhood suffering once he discovers that it helps him escape responsibility. The National District Attorney’s Association Bulletin reported a revealing study that was conducted on another group of destructive men: child sexual abusers. The researcher asked each man whether he himself had been sexually victimized as a child. A hefty 67 percent of the subjects said yes. However, the researcher then informed the men that he was going to hook them up to a lie-detector test and ask them the same questions again. Affirmative answers suddenly dropped to only 29 percent. In other words, abusers of all varieties tend to realize the mileage they can get out of saying, ‘I’m abusive because the same thing was done to me.’ — Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via monobey)

(via blametherapistneverthevictim)

YouTube comments aren’t “just the Internet.” They’re not the product of a group of otherwise nice guys who suddenly become evil when they wear a veil of anonymity. YouTube comments are actually a nightmarish glimpse into the sexist attitudes that define the fabric of our own existence in the “real world,” a world that, like YouTube, is owned and dominated by men. The most terrifying gift that the Internet has given us is that it’s shown us how men honestly perceive the world: as a place where women exist exclusively for their sexual pleasure.

In the wake of VidCon, and as more and more women start speaking up about the harassment they face online, it’s time to start realizing that our narrative of progress is deeply flawed. Things aren’t getting better for women on the Internet; they’re deteriorating and ignoring the problem amounts to being complicit in it.

"For women on the Internet, it doesn’t get better" by Samantha Allen (via albinwonderland)

(via fuckyeahmyvagina)

So I ask the American commentators, please stop announcing that Landon Donovan is the “all-time U.S. leading goal scorer.” He is not. With 57 international goals, he’s not even in the Top Five.

The all-time U.S. leading goal scorer is Abby Wambach, with 167 goals, followed by Mia Hamm (158), Kristine Lilly (130), Michelle Akers (105) and Tiffeny Milbrett (100). In fact, Abby Wambach is the all-time leading goal scorer in the world, among all soccer players, male or female.

World Cup Soccer Stats Erase The Sport’s Most Dominant Players: Women (via cypher2)


(via sophielostandfound)

(via egaliteoulamort)